whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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