I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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