At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
