Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
