new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i came on her dog
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
