She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
