just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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