i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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