I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
