oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
