So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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