If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize