Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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