so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
