The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
