So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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