Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Me too!
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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