i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
