plz talk dirty to me
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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