Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
