All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
