Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
