your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
