just come out here and I will go home with you...
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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