sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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