its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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