Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
