Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Holy shit dude........stairs
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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