Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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