C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize