I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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