I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
