yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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