wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
