You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
