just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
