At least make sure they are 18
Why
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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