So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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