Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Randomize