i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You don't make any sense
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