I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
