I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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