Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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