so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
