fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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