halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
