Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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