So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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