Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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