apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
