at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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