Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
