she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
