3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
