Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
