If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
