Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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