He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
