I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize
