She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
